Thursday 4 December 2014

The Jedi has returned!

Err.  Actually, it isn’t a Jedi.  It’s just me.  And I am not a Jedi.  But you already know that.

It is Novem…wait, no, it is December! Crickey! It’s really been that long, folks.  I’m sorry I have not been in touch.  I am here now to tell you what’s happened.

Well, you know when my father passed away in 2012, right?  It has now been two years and I still miss him.  I guess it’s true that when a loved one dies, we really don’t stop missing them….but somehow, we get used to their absence and it helps to think that they are somewhere safe.

There has also been a couple of wearisome situations that, somehow, made me re-examine my life.  I began to spend so much time thinking and so much time overthinking things.  In the process, I lost all inspiration to write.  Because I thought it was, one way or the other, a waste of time.  Because I thought that there were more important things I should be focusing on.  Because there were (and still are) so many reasons in my head to procrastinate and stop believing in myself.  These thoughts were like waves – they were worse whenever I’d be in a life crisis or a new challenge.  So, for a long time, I had lost my sense of self. 

And then, somehow, somewhere, something happened to my little brain again so that now, everything is slowly coming back to me.  It’s slow but it’s alright.  There were little moments this year that helped me come back right here, here with you, here in front of my computer screen – to write again.

So, today, I don’t intend to bore you with the details of why, how or what I was sad about during my absence.  Instead, I’d like to go back a little bit and share with some important moments. I know that perhaps, these moments have now passed me by.  Still, they keep me smiling and they have kept me going. I’m done being sad.  I’m done being cynical.  I’m done with all the thinking and not writing and “not doing.”

Here are some of the things that made my day this year and still put a smile on my face whenever I think of them:

In April, I finally got the chance to meet these awesome people who have been an inspiration to me. Jessica Bell and Talli Roland became my blogging buddies in 2010. What a joy to finally see them in person and spend time with them.  I also met two lovely people – Alison Morton and Amie McCracken.
Jessica, Talli and me!
With Talli
With Jess, Amie and Talli
In May, my son’s carers gave me an awesome birthday surprise! What a delight!
It was a delicious lemon cake!
Sometime in June-July, I’ve learned about box swapping! I swapped surprise gift boxes with another writer friend, Cath Barton.  It was amazing!
Loved all the little things neatly wrapped individually inside my box of surprises!
In July, my husband celebrated his birthday.  We were happy to have a little celebration as last year was a scary time for us when he's had heart bypass surgery.  This year, it was time to be thankful and celebrate.

In August, my son celebrated his birthday without having to visit the hospital.  We were able to take him with us for a short break in Scotland. He has been really well for a few months now and we are truly happy.

And this year, I was able to sort out a little place where I can write during the summer months (still thinking of how to keep the place warm in the winter months):

I am ready for more special moments like these.  I know that along the way, it won’t be easy.  But there really shouldn’t be any reason good enough for not writing, for not being able to do what I love to do.  I must find time – no matter how busy life gets, no matter how sad life gets, no matter how uninspired I get – because really, nothing is ever going to change.  Life will always be busy and there will always be times when there is no motivation whatsoever. If I don’t find time to write, I’ll lose the very essence of me.

Signing off for now.  Until next post.


  1. What a wonderful comeback post! I've missed your blog. So happy you're writing again and doing things for you. I know it's been a hard few years. Glad you're on the other side of some of the dark parts. I met Jessica in person last December. I'd love to meet Talli and Amie in person. So cool you all got to get together! One day you and I have to hang out too. :)

  2. Hi Len - that's great to see you back ... and I know you've had lots of things going on - some you've mentioned .. glad you're around again ..

    It's great you met up with Talli, Jess and Amie .. fun times .. and good for you - getting together with other authors .. cheers Hilary

  3. i feel you! writing is just us... no matter what! happy you're back! :)


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