Saturday, 31 March 2012

When life takes you someplace else

Hello? Anybody there?

Yes, I'm back and glad to be posting again.

The past two months were good.  I also received some not very good news from home.  I've been wanting to talk to you about the good things, about the books I've read, things I've done and most of all, about writing.  But I can't.  Not tonight.  My mind is just filled with thoughts about home.  Don't get me wrong, I love it here, living in the countryside with my husband and son.  England is also home for me now.   But a bit of my heart has stayed in my mother country, the Philippines.

When I moved to England more than six years ago, I knew I was leaving not only my family and friends but also my childhood, places I've been, schools I went to - I can go on and on.  By then, I already had friends who had left themselves, including my best friend, Rachel, who left when I was still in the university, if my memory serves me right.

In the past six years, there were birthdays, anniversaries, graduations and all that kind of thing that I couldn't be part of.  It is sad to even think about it but believe it or not, when there is good news, inside of me, I am celebrating with them.

There were moments of sadness and grief that I never wished for any of my friends and loved ones to experience and I had hoped that when those moments would inevitably come, I'd be there.  But I am away.  I couldn't offer a comforting presence.  This is the problem when life takes us away to be someplace else.

Luckily for us in this day and age, we have technology.  We rely on the benefits of the internet to communicate.  But the truth hurts.  Because we all know it isn't enough.  There is always something missing.  The internet or the telephone will never be able to replace the warmth of an embrace between two human beings.  It will never be a substitute for the feel of the fingers wiping tears away when you are down and out.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to go back and see my family and friends again.  Feel their arms around me once again.  For now, internet will have to be enough.  It will have to do.